![]() Ty Tashiro, PhD, NYC-based psychologist and author of The Science of Happily Ever After, tells SELF that in a 1997 study conducted at the University of Minnesota-his alma mater, which is just one reason why this oft-cited study is among his favorites-researchers parsed the differences between “love” and being “in love” and the associations people have with each term. When it comes to feelings of love, it turns out that what you call your emotions might matter. The phrase that best describes your feelings is in love rather than just love. (What was their third-grade teacher’s name, anyway?) 2. In other words, when you’re falling in love you tend to become fascinated by anything and everything you learn about your new partner. When you’re really hot for someone in the early stages of dating, it sure can feel like you’re in love (see middle school crushes for reference), but according to Megan Fleming, PhD, a clinical psychologist and sex and couples therapist in New York City, “the difference between infatuation and love is knowing a person.” Meaning that when you’re merely infatuated, “it’s a projection because you haven’t learned much about them yet.” Essentially, you’re projecting all the things you hope are true onto this person-a lovely but still largely blank canvas.Įven if you don’t know everything about them yet, if it’s “true love,” you’ll probably want to: A 2021 research review in the journal Frontiers of Psychology found that “preoccupation with the partner,” the “desire to know the other and to be known,” and “studying the other person” are all common components of romantic love. While there’s no set time for how long it takes to fall in love, the experts we talked to agree that getting to know someone is a key part of developing deep feelings. ![]() You know them well (or at least pretty well). Here are ten signs that it’s the real deal and you are, in fact, falling in love with someone-so you can declare your feelings with confidence. To help you untangle it all and decipher your emotions, we consulted a few relationship experts on this particular matter of the heart. ![]()
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